Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Ah hello, ladies and gentlemen. [Hannibal smiles urbanely, flashing a set of very sharp teeth dominated by curved fangs he's still sorting out how to speak around. His eyes have become staring and ophidian, which troubles him less than whatever is flopping around a bit clumsily in the background.]

It seemss that I too have been graciously equipped for the exploration of this peculiar Port. Unfortunately the same attributes are a bit inconvenient on land. My apologies to my neighbors for any [crash thump, mild wince] ...noise.

On the other hand I should be able to provide a formidable escort for your seafaring adventures. [He lifts his tail, which is serpentine except for the flattened end, and is a vivid black and white stripe like something out of a Tim Burton movie.]

...Dr. Lewis, would you care to play guess-the-species?

Ah yes, also. Once we're again underway, I'd like to host a salon in my suite. For those not familiar, a salon in the traditional style is an elegant gathering meant as much to educate as to entertain. Art, literature, ethics, philosophy, entertainment, and all aspects of our varied cultures are the sort of topics generally up for discussion. Light refreshments will be served; I am taking requests. I will also be looking for individuals to perform readings, lectures, and similar, instrumental music you would like to have played, and ideas on what people who attend would like to learn more about.

[His tail flops illustratively and knocks over a lamp. He sighs softly.]

At any rate, all are welcome who do not cause trouble. Kindly RSVP by the end of the week if you are interested.

[fairly liberal friends list]
Checking in. I do hope no one's become half jellyfish.

[warden filter]
Well. No point letting being turned part reptile keep me from doing some badly-needed housekeeping.

With Dr. Crane having left, I am as far as I know the only Warden currently qualified to make psychiatric prescriptions. I would like to volunteer to step into his role on the Barge, as well as providing general Infirmary support. I have been volunteering during crises, but it is time I take on some more formal responsibilities.

I will of course be continuing my work on breakfast shift, including the odd cooking lessons. Therefore I will make myself available for afternoon and overnight Infirmary shifts.

Mark Lilly and I have decided to collaborate on providing more comprehensive psychological services to Inmates and Wardens alike. Those interested in assisting, or receiving services, please let us know. At the moment our scope of ability only includes more mundane early twenty-first century Earth human options such as talk therapy, hypnosis, exposure therapy and medication, and I would greatly appreciate the chance to expand on that. Mr. Pinkman, if you are interested in joining forces on some level as well, you are invited to do ssssso *cough* so.

[private to Sandoval]
I have a proposition for you. [He's mildly worried, dude.]

 [Have a Hannibal, nicely dressed down in slacks and a tobacco-colored sweater, with his veterinarian's lab coat on over it. He has a young hedgehog in his hands, and Percy, his African Grey Parrot, is in his usual position on his shoulder.]

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that the Bargewell Veterinary Clinic and Animal Shelter has some new arrivals. Our most recent shelter resident, Miss Marple, has given birth to a litter of six healthy kittens. Now they won't be weaned and ready for at least another eight weeks, but...well. Let's give them a look at the babies, ay Percy?

[The bird fluffs his neck and hops briefly from foot to foot.]  Percy is cuter!

Yes, yes you are, but you already have a home.  [He tucks the hedgie into his breast pocket. The hedgehog peeks out calmly and looks around as if entirely used to such treatment. Then he takes the camera and brings it over to the makeshift nursery he has made in one of the cat enclosures. Miss Marple, all ten fluffy pounds of tabby, peers irritatedly at the camera as she nurses a collection of black and tabby kittens.]

As you can see, they are all doing well, as is Mum. We have two girls, four boys, and they will be ready for gentle visitors within a few weeks. Meanwhile I will be sending out updates on a regular basis. Reservations will be taken at four weeks.

As always, Bargewell is a no-kill shelter, and we need your help to feed and tend to our expanding family. Donations are accepted during business hours. Please call after hours for veterinary emergencies only. Thank you for your time.

[Percy pipes up again.] Bring apples!

[spam for Bargewell Veterinary]
[Truth be told, Hannibal would be open twenty-four hours a day if he had the energy. The animals are better company than most humans, now that he can speak their language. Although at times, it gets to be overwhelming.]

[He wanders through the shelter/boarding aisles, greeting each beast in turn as he feeds them, changes their water and checks the condition of their cages. Everyone has an opinion today. The hedgehogs want more toys, the prissy silver Persian he is boarding is demanding more tuna even though it isn't good to give cats as a staple, and the dogs. Oh Lord, the dogs.]

Lol oops I pooped my crate again....

Hey! Hey! You! Play? Play? C'mon, let us out in the backyard!

When's Mom coming back?

These stitches ITCH! I want to lick them. DAMN YOU CONE OF SHAME, DAMN YOU!

OH MY GOD KIBBLE YOU ARE THE BEST EVER

What the Hell is that thing on your shoulder? Clearly it is unnatural.  I must bark at it!

[He sighs and whistles to get their attention.]

All right, all right you lot, finish your kibble and I'll let you out. 

[The bell on the front door chimes, and he turns to go attend to a potential customer. Sick pets and potential adopters wait for no man.]

 [Hannibal is looking especially dapper. Goldberg Variations is playing faintly in the background, and he is smiling pleasantly.]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in. 

Let's talk for a moment about stress. This place is full of it. Every one of us has distressing things in our backgrounds; every one of us faces, at some time, distressing things here. There are relationship issues, problems inherent in being a Warden or Inmate, practical issues dealing with survival here, and a myriad of other problems. Our mistake, which is very commonly made, is in assuming that our problems are somehow unique. That no one else has faced them. That no one else will understand; that we are, essentially, alone. But this is not the case. We are not, by and large, as alone as we believe ourselves to be.

Today, my associate, Mr. Pink, and I are offering advice on a myriad of psychological, emotional and practical issues. In addition, Dr. House has agreed to be our special guest addressing medical issues, as well as dispensing his own special brand of advice. I entreat you, if you are distressed, if you need to vent, if you need advice, pick up your communicator. Lines are open now.



[ooc: Do I even have to say that Hannibal is affected? Yep. Right now he is not struggling against his evil; he's quite comfortably good.] 

[Threadjacking and multiple replies OK. Expect responses from Hannibal, Mr. Pink, House or possibly up to all three. :D]